I am having a bit of difficulty, though, with the "delaying gratification" policy, which involves not catering to your child's every demand right away, with modeling. Let me explain. When my daughter asks me to see the surprise she has for me (and, usually, the surprise involves her coopting something of mine in an unintended, and unpleasant, usage), I usually tell her that I will be with her in a minute, because I am in the middle of something. But, then, when I ask her to, say, brush her teeth or get dressed, she tells me to "wait". Hmmm. This seems like a no-win scenario. I don't want her to think my purpose on earth is to serve her every whim, but she turns the tables on me and makes me wait!!!
Gandhi was famously approached by a mother who wanted him to speak to her child about avoiding sweets. He agreed, but instead of telling him to not eat sugar, he asked the youth to return in a few days. When the child returned, it was only then that Gandhi asked the youngster to refrain from eating so many sweets. The mother, confused, asked the Great One why he didn't just ask the child to avoid sweets the first time; why did they have to return in order for him to ask her son to refrain from snacking? He replied that, when he was first asked to tell the child to curb his sweet-tooth, Gandhi was still enjoying confections himself. "I could not ask him to stop eating sweets so long as I had not stopped eating sweets".
And, so it is with parents. If you have bad habits, your children will imitate. The old "do as I say, not as I do" line never worked, and never will.
|I'm pretty sure my |
Spanish comes across
something like this