Sunday, October 21, 2012

How Does One Announce Cancer in the Digital Age?

I now need to change my blog's blurb to include "surviving a stroke, marriage and cancer".  I was diagnosed this week as having stage 1B cervical cancer.  That stage is low and has very high survival rates, which is encouraging, although it is most likely still a low stage because the doctors have not  tested enough yet to ascertain whether it is actually more advanced.  I am somewhat relieved to know that the size of my tumor generally warrants optimism that the radical hysterectomy I must undergo will cure me completely.  Actually, the radical hysterectomy is the better option: if tests show that cancer is in my lymph nodes, then I will need radiation.  I guess, as kids, we say we want to experience everything.  But, God, if you follow this blog, I can do without the radiation experience, okay?  That is one thing where vicarious living will certainly suffice.

Teal Ribbon :
Meaning: This color is a symbol
for ovarian, cervical, and uterine
cancers as well as sexual assault,
polycystic ovarian syndrome,
and tsunami victims.  What fun! 
When the results of my biopsy were brought to my attention, of course, I started crying.  There were two reasons for my tears: my daughter and my mother.  The only thing worse than leaving a young child motherless is leaving a mother childless.  I can do things to help my daughter after my death, but there is nothing to console a mother who loses a child.  When my student was killed at thirteen years old, nothing, nothing will ever erase the screams and desperation of his mother as she arrived at his wake.  Never should a child precede his mother in death.  So, Mom, I love you, but you're going first!

Let's back away from the edge of darkness for a moment, to look at the bright side of things.  Just as modern medicine saved me once, I have very competent professionals on my side, and every reason to believe that I will emerge from this to live to see my daughter reach adulthood.   She was more interested in the timing of my surgery (two days before Thanksgiving) than in any of the concerns that we adults have.  "How many days are in November?  November is a long ways away.  What holiday comes first, Halloween or Thanksgiving?"   And, then, she pushes her torso up on her shoulders (this was in bed) by standing on her tippy toes on the headboard and challenges me to push her down.  She'll take anyone's mind off the heavy details.

4 comments:

  1. Am I reading this right, Lin? WTF? We're all here for you!!! Hysterectomy for a cure - holy hell, but BRING IT ON. How did they find it? Yearly check up? I will be praying hard. (((((BIG HUGS)))))

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  2. Not sure what to say apart from if anyone I know can take this thing on and kick it into touch it is you. Andy and I are both sending you our love and all of our support xxxx

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  3. What?? So glad it has been caught early! We will be saying the hugest prayers for you that you are cured WITHOUT the need for Radiation!! If there is anything James and I can do for you guys we'll be there! Xx

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  4. Hi Linda,

    I'm sorry I'm belated in ... my reply. Somehow there is a FB default setting when you accept a new friend (even though you're marked as a 'Close Friend') so that only "Most Updates" show. Obviously this is an important status post that I missed.

    There never is a right thing to say, except that I'm here for you. Ok, well, Phoenix is kind of far to offer a coffee break or babysitting. But - I am - in your cheering gallery. After reading quietly and absorbing your stroke story a few days after you accepted my FB invite I thought that was more than enough for a challenge for a person. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. You're a strong strong person so I see you a good fighting position.

    GO YOU & YOUR FAMILY:)
    Screw that unseemly set of cells.

    -xoxo
    I

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