Impressing Myself - Rewiring a Sputnik Ceiling Fixture to a Swag Fixture

I've been lowballing
tri-state residents for
years before someone
accepted!

I failed Electrical Engineering. First problem was it was three times a week at 8 a.m. Second problem was over confidence. I was certain I understood how to make the light blink using ands and ors and parallel and serial and, well... It wouldn't work. And I experienced it again when I found my dream chandelier, the Sputnik! I have a ceiling fixture taking up valuable floor space for the dining area, so this will go in Tootie Pie's room, but we're keeping the fuchsia chandelier. This Sputnik needed to be switched from a ceiling light to a swag. 

Most tutorials say to just switch out the ceiling end connection with an outlet, wrap the correct wires into the screw socket, and voila! But, I don't have an outlet on my ceiling and so I needed a longer cord. I originally bought the clear kind, but didn't realize that the Sputnik is grounded and the transparent kind I bought only had the 2 prongs, so back it went. The second time I went for something special, since I realized after I bought the transparent cord that it didn't have an on-off switch, it wasn't grounded and the fixture was, AND I found much prettier cords. Everything at ColorCord.com is beautiful!

So pretty. I need an 
extension cord in this color!

It took forever, but I figured out how to get the canopy off. Luckily, the chandy has a wire to attach it to the ceiling so that the weight doesn't pull out the wires. But the canopy wasn't just attached to the bar, but also to the wire that holds the weight, which prevented me from getting it off, until I figured out that there's a button on the bottom of the wire attachment that allows it to come off. If I hadn't figured that out, there would be an extra piece at the base of the wire, because I could only manage to move this adjustable canopy finish cap forward to make the wire shorter and shorter. I backed it out okay eventually because it had a hidden button. For a moment, I thought I'd need the jaws of life or a blowtorch to remove the canopy. And, since this is a knock off Sputnik, the wiring was not standard, and my electrical skills are weak. It is a 24 light fixture, and I ended up having to take each arm's wires out and marking the hot wires. Just like in Electrical Engineering 101, I thought my first attempt was golden and the second! I even visited the hardware store to purchase a current tester, but they were double what I was willing to pay. This was the incentive I needed and I did it right finally! If everything was easy, there would be no sense of accomplishment. It works!

In the end, I got the chandelier for $50, plus I had to buy the cord with the switch and a grounded outlet, which cost me $43.93, and new wire nuts cost $2.99. Labor was free but not inexpensive. Under $100. Not including 24 light bulbs. And, a ceiling hook, which, I already had, but I bought another - oops! I will probably eventually find wire nuts - it might be time to organize my hardware. And, a plug converter that I need now because the outlet isn't grounded! Such a rollicking success!

On the one hand, it is
not within the venacular
of the room...

Now that it's installed, I don't love it! I have turned Tootie Pie's bedroom into a lighting showroom! In the end, I should have not bothered with my Tord Boontje inspired creation and put the OTHER chrome, armed chandelier that has been on my living room floor into my room, and the Sputnik in the kitchen. The thought process it the fixture that is on the floor has a base that mounts to the ceiling, so it doesn't move. Both bedrooms have center ceiling wires and the chandeliers need to move, because we're tall people with little spatial awareness. But, what's done is done. In my next home, we will have 3 bedrooms, one of which will be the craft room, so that my rug making and electrical work, and come to think of it, skyline painting, gardening, and a host of other activities, can all be done in a separate location instead of in our main living area. For now, my studio is immediately upon entry to our home, and her bedroom should be a beacon of Queens.

Glimpse into my
in-process home and 
future starburst area

Ah, she took it down! She CAN be motivated to do things in her room! I never tightened the ceiling hook in her ceiling because I was meeting resistance; not the type of spectacle I want to try on my own - and I tried DIY electrical!

When I Go Back to the Calculations

Where did I go wrong? Here we have less than half of the Gold Fusion/Marigold complete and yet, no more yarn. I'm less than halfway done with the Sulfur/Chartreuse flowers and more than halfway finished with that yarn. It seems like the Yellow I'm only going to use one of the 2 skeins. So, what's the issue?

Starting on the repeat

I recalculated. My numbers are correct. Funny enough, it's the sketchier Hobbii brand that I computed correctly. This leads me to believe that the Cascade brand is not 220 yards as advertised. 

I am also having serious customer service issues with Yarnspirations.com and their poorly labeled hooks. They are either hiring only the mentally challenged or they are evil geniuses that determined that a service outlook founded on leading the consumer on a ridiculous goose chase is more cost effective than fixing the problem. So, I will make sure that I tell the vendor to cease selling their goods.

Yarn and conspiracy theories. The more logical explanation is that companies decided to dupe the consumer because they can. Well, no more from me.

Nice to imagine, but
I think this junks it up

In any case, I am thinking my rug looks more runner-like than I'd like. Stupid canvas manufacturer never learned the golden ratio. So, in order to full it out and use up the extra yarn, how about a width-increasing border of pompoms? Because, the only thing more impractical than a white rug would be the addition of vacuum clogging pompoms. So, on the one hand, the mock up looks festive, but on the other, does it clutter up the modern, clean lines of the Marimekko design, or did I take care of that already with my insane color scheme? I will probably make the pompoms and if they look funny on the rug, I'll turn them into a cool garland. 

In the end, I dropped another $80-something for the yarn I forgot to order in the first place. When I factor in the non-slip back, the only plus to hooking a rug yourself is complete control of the design. 

Oh, since my new, custom rug is too small for the floor (yet, simultaneously, too big for me to hook sanely), the solution has been located. Small individual flower rugs scattered around the main rug. 

Let's plan our next major
project while still in the
midst of current one!

And, finally, I decided against the pompoms and will go with length increasing fringe on the shorter edges. White is out because it will get sucked into the vacuum. I have 11 inches to go with the hooking, then fringing and hemming and binding and all that good stuff. The anticipation is off the charts here!

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It's Just a Bit More Complicated Now, Love - In Defense of When Harry Met Sally

As a rule, I do not necessarily enjoy, for lack of a better term, chick flicks. Never saw The Notebook. I kind of hate movies with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.  My friends dragged me to Serendipity and just UGH! I was massively uncomfortable and the whole thing was so predictable. But, there is Harold and Maude, the Before trilogy, and of course, When Harry Met Sally. Offbeat romances? 

What I like about Harry and Sally is the realness of it. Love is complicated. You don't write your phone number on a dollar bill and then send it into circulation. What you do do (ha!, I said doodoo) is keep running into that guy that you were forced to interact with and that you cannot stand. Relatable. And because you don't see eye-to-eye with this dude, you feel okay being authentic. They put on a front when they are set up with each other's best friends, and true love is hiding in plain sight as a buddy that they are just bouncing ideas off of and getting the opposite sex's perspective. Yeah, it's a great movie because they are both clueless that they're in love. Like Moonstruck, love doesn't solve your problems: it just creates a mess. Embrace it.

We get a glimpse, just one moment, where we get the happily ever after! This movie is genius!!!! His love of her OCD when it comes to food is everything! And that, my friends, is love. Love is being annoyed to the point of insanity and still being attracted to this soul. Not the blue eyeshadow and not her alphabetized VHS tapes (yes, this is somewhat of a delayed review. I'd also like to congratulate Brian Boitano on that phenomenal free skate = just great!) but how she spends hours on her hair and too much money on shoes and other nonsense that makes her Sally. Harry, where are you? You're late...

These two went to the same Midwestern college and moved to NYC. They disliked each other immediately, and were honestly themselves in an age where it is much easier to be annoyed than find the good in someone. But love will find a way. Sex is easy; it's intimacy that's hard. They are equals until...

I love New York. It really doesn't deserve me and I am too good for the Big Apple, but there's just something about it. Love it or hate it, you probably have an opinion. Like me. Take it or leave it, but I am what I am and I love it, so, Harry, I'm ready, and it helps if you don't bring that coffee table. That stupid, Roy Roger's, wagon wheel coffee table! 

Modern Life Indignities

A list of modern day pet peeves. Know what I hate? Scanning barcodes instead of being handed a menu. Know why? Because you only need to update one record to change the prices instead of reprinting a full set of menus. I detest filling out customer service forms online and getting a form email with a logo where a person's name should be. When did it become acceptable to tell a customer, nope, can't help you. No suggestions are given as to what to do, not even a pat courtesy word like "sorry" or "hello". Self-checkout? Don't blame me when I scan a smart TV accidentally as a bag of spinach. It is grim.

What do we do with this feeling of being a stone let for blood? We have short-cutted and streamlined our way into this mess and it shows no sign of stopping. It is impossible to save the planet when I cannot even talk to a human about issues I am experiencing. We are all in crisis. Racing to the bottom isn't working any longer.

Please stop taking this out on Jane and John Q. Public. We are weary and suspicious and we're tired of our only choices being stepping on or being trod upon. Civility. It is time.

We cannot wait for someone else to do it. Society is too cut-throat as it is. Don't add fuel to the fire - the world is already burning.

Carry on! Help out and carry on.

Generational Trauma and White Men

Men and PTSD. They have it, too. Do they cause most problems? Yes. Are they entitled? Uh-huh. They're also hurting, and it is nearly impossible to empathize, but I am trying.

We send them into war. Be successful but don't flaunt it. They aren't allowed to cry. I think I'd be pissed, too. I have been courting a man, and it is hard! Until this, I'd be the first to judge a man for not having his lines rehearsed or poorly navigating my weird sense of humor - but be careful! One wrong word and you will not hear the end of it!

Setting yourself up for rejection is a hard lifestyle, but trying to impress is all-consuming. If I keep this up, will I eventually become a Proud Boy? It seems like my string of success with men will never end, despite the grey hairs - not just the ones you can see! - and non-symmetrical lines that cannot be classified other than "fold wrinkles". That, or I am telegraphing somehow that I am easy. I am not, but I must be broadcasting otherwise. I could not be trickier.

In any case, I need to come to the conclusion that these men are people. I know this intellectually, but the anecdotal evidence leads me to different ideas. Those loud pompous facades just mask their own insecurity, no matter how repulsive. It is well and good for me to think I'd do it better, and I'm sure I would, but so many men are getting it so wrong, I cannot help but wonder why. I can weave in and out of my imagined position of power, so is it the non-stop incessant nature of it that is making them nuts?

I was mocked for missing the kickball. That's fair, and I was a scrawny girl. And, it had to be comedy gold to witness, very Charlie Brown! But, imagine if I was a boy! The outfield moved up and everyone, including me, expected I'd miff. When I was bullied, it was just fulfilling the prophecy. There was a boy that was the male counterpart of me that had to do an insane amount of pullups to get credibility. I was allowed to remain a weakling. Boys are forced to toughen up. Pressure.

I can flounder, as I am currently, and society doesn't have a problem with me asking for help. Men cannot do this. They have to act. Too much pressure and doing it yourself are a recipe for disaster. I do feel bad for them. Almost. As I write this, my white trash male neighbors are throttling their ATVs around and around my block. In Queens, NYC. The cars that use my 2-block street as a drag strip come about once or twice an hour. I nearly felt compassion and they make a huge spectacle with so much noise and exhaust, windows rattling in the car and in our homes, but who cares? They're enjoying themselves!

Guys want women to come out and say things, and women want men to read their minds and stop acting like fools. Neither is going to happen until we get some perspective. Enjoy the communication gap in the meantime, because sometimes the assholes can be entertaining. But, be careful! Because, they can also be killers.

Marimekko Rug - Status and Lessons Learned

My wacky arm is rising up in protest

My math is off! I finished less than a quarter of the marigold flowers and I have, of course, used half the yarn. How? I want to blame poor quality control for my miscalculations! So, here's what I learned so far:

• It is tedious! I need traction and I'm not even 1/5 done. Past Linda didn't consider Future Linda and wanted to get the 5' wide canvas in the 8' length (bought by the yard). I'd need to apprentice the next few generations if I had done this. Carpal tunnel is looking likely.

• 

  Inch by inch
  

  I was worried about the white flowers, and I never thought about kelly green not really being a big floral color outside of leaves. The colors looked juicy until I added the black center in the kelly flower and that cut the Zebra Stripe gum vibe somewhat. And the marigold could more accurately be called mac 'n cheese...
• Fuzz: we all know that new rugs shed. I can confirm. AND, the yarn isn't in its final, cut state. Oh, well, that's why I have the German vacuum cleaner.
• Right to left and bottom to top is the way to latch hook if you're a righty like me. In other words, exactly the opposite of my instinct and most likely how I did my Lucy rug. But then, I ride snowboard goofy, so find what works for you.
• Soothing. Maybe because I did it during the good old days of my childhood, maybe it's my female ancestors echoing in the wool that they spun and crocheted to make spending money, but it feels comforting to do this. It calls to me to do one more row.
• Yarn quality is mixed. I bought a Cascade 220 white to test and mixed it in with the Hobbii white and I cannot tell the difference. The thickness does seem to vary more with the Hobbii brand, but it holds its ply better than the Cascade, so I think it is better for latch hooking, IMO. When all the threads are shmushed together vertically, you cannot see that some strands are fraying, again, IMHO.

I will let you know how ordering more yarn from other color lots goes. Let me finish the two cheesy flowers I started and I will address this problem later. Maybe Jesus will perform a miracle and fish occurrence and it will all go to plan, tee hee hee!

Will I persevere and finish or will this languish in a closet while my arm recuperates? Stay tuned!