My Irish Initial

I have been obsessed with Medieval art since I knew there was such a thing. It may be the gold halos, it may be the slightly off-kilter proportions of the people, but it has always attracted me. It is funny, that my name, Kelleher, is so similar to Kells, as in the Book of Kells. Well, interestingly, the letter K is not native to Ireland. My name is an Anglicized version of the Celtic (pronounced Kell-tic) Ó Céileachair. And, no, there is not apostrophe, but an acute accent. It means descendent of Céileachair. A céilí is a social gathering, but Céileachair means lover of a social gathering. So, somewhere in my ancestry, someone loved a party.

Now, technically, the Book of Kells is not Medieval, but Dark Ages, but I feel the imagery is in the same vein. It is also a misnomer, especially in Ireland, to call it the Dark Ages, because, once the Visigoths conquered the Roman Empire, neither one touched this distant western corner of Europe, and the arts flourished in Ireland during this time. It is ironic that an illuminated manuscript came from the Dark Ages, innit? I saw this when in Dublin, and even though I was only allowed to view one page, like all visitors, it was so detailed that I could have stared at it forever. Since I first laid eyes on it, in 1988 and again in 1995, Trinity College in Dublin has since scanned the pages. Many of the pages feature intricate Celtic designs incorporating knotwork and animals, and even images of the big names of the Bible, which is what the Book of Kells is. I wanted to find my initials, but sadly, there was no such thing as the letter K in circa 800 Ireland. So, my first initial will have to suffice, and, boy, does it! Just look at it:

So, what you are looking at is the first word, in Latin, of the Book of Matthew, "Liber". The L is curved, I cut off the bottom of the letter I, a large "B", and within the B, the ER (the image is large, so click on it to see all five letters). The first book of Matthew is "The Book of Generations", or "Liber generationis". Funnily enough, when I was younger, I sat down to read the New Testament, and read page after page of this first book. I gave up who knows how many generations into it and never returned to it. I expected more. I am not religious, but I do consider myself Christian, as in, aiming to be like Christ. But, c'mon, Matthew! Try to hook your audience, man.

But enough about the story; the beauty and intricacies of this single word is just breath-taking. Scholars say that Matthew was depicted with wings, and you can see that the faceless person in the left-most side clearly has beautiful gold tipped wings. Another two blokes here are both clutching books, which were cherished. Most of the animals look like snakes, but didn't St. Patrick both bring Christianity to Ireland AND drive out the snakes? But, they're perhaps not snakes. Are these dogs, specifically hounds or Great Danes? At first glance, I thought frogs, but frogs don't have tails, and these creatures do.

 

And this. I still say they're snakes, but the creatures end with either bird claws or fish tails for the purple bodies, or with a sort of lion's tail in the case of the yellow animals. No matter what they are, they are mesmerizing:

A close up of the ends of the tails:

Absolutely certain this
is a lion's tail

Fish tail?

But, wait, these are lions! Argh!

This is one page, one WORD for goodness sake, of a masterpiece. Somehow, they turned the dry genealogy of into an absolute, gobsmacking chef d'oeuvre, those unknown Irish monks did. Also, these monk-authors had a sense of fantasy and humor. Maybe these are snakes, but they've given them different animals' tails. It is a work of whimsy. I'm not certain Irish monks circa 800 had ever seen a lion, so there is definitely artistic license being taken. I challenge you to find your initial in this treasure and do your own deep dive into it. Or, pick an animal, and search it within the Book of Kells. No matter where you end up, you will be the richer for it.

Another drawing of Matthew, this time
with a dead eye

Since the drawing to the left is showing the man
with the wrong hand holding the book, apparently
to avoid the same mistake, deformed hand hidden
on right

No discussion of the Book of Kells without
a mention of a man who is playing his
harp snake with his two left hands

Another sensational L! What will you find?

Partial Unveiling Fish Chandelier

Well, it's missing a bulb and I still need to string 4 1/2 fish strands, but it looks good. Because it has 6 bulbs, it is not casting fish shadows, alas. 

It's custom and bespoke and delicate. No two fish are the same, and there are non-fish surprises such as a wave bead that ties the color scheme together and a glass bubble. There is a massive deep green fish. They all sparkle with Aurora Borealis (it's a bead thing). I wanted to make a blue whale gathering up the fish into a readily edible mass like I witnessed in Juneau, but never did. I don't have the right colors any longer and I like it without predators. 

I put the longer strands in the middle, the medium ones in between and the shorter ones along the outside for a graduated appearance that mimics the bulb stems. I want to learn how to make a circle with beads to create one octopus, but so far all I managed is one transparent star fish. This is the perfect task to beat the heat and humidity. A bit more fish making and I'll need another project. Alas, all of our ceilings are covered and I need to move onto another medium but light fixtures are my favorite. Oh, and after I finish with the fish, I need to strand my plastic flowers because this chandelier is CONVERTIBLE! The flowers should cover the space better than the fish because they are larger. 

Rhode Island

Candy colored Lincoln Park. I have no photos, but the pictures live strong in my mind of the glorious tack that was a 1970s family style New England amusement park. Mom would pack a lunch that I would dance through with anticipation in the parking lot. I was tall enough that my father took me on the Comet coaster and it's not an experience I'll soon forget: if not for my father's karate chop to my waist on that first hill I was falling forward onto the tracks. Good times. My sister would invariably get sick on fried clams. Many rides I wouldn't consider tackling because I was certain my parents wouldn't go for it, but those cages that could, in theory, swing 360 degrees sure looked dangerous. I always felt bad for the people in the Monster ride who would emerge on the second floor. The humans pinned against the circle had nope written all over it.

But what I did ride I'll always remember. Storks, motorcycles, boats, some sort of garish barrel, rocket ships, cars, and the flimsiest ferris wheel this side of a carnie. I got into one of those bucket seated multi-armed deals with my little sisters and misjudged the centipedal force to crush my baby sis. No one cared about safety or intestinal health back then. No one seemed to have planned anything besides my mother's lunch: we'd see families strapped with massive plushies that would take the entire backseat on the ride home. Ugly, cheap huge eyesores that they already regretted winning for $100 in today's equivalent. 

This is incredibly girly, but many of those arcade games had dolls made out of nylon stockings and outfitted like Mae West in a riot of pastels and pouf. I'd dream of these visions of femininity all night as I could still feel my body sliding down "the big slide". 

Nostalgia is a powerful thing. I have lost touch with that young, wild girl who was brimming with excitement. The world seemed so magical. It was magical.

My father drove me out of Rhode Island in an Oldmobile Cutlass Supreme in 1979. I just drove my own self out of Rhode Island and I couldn't believe I'd do the same horrible thing to myself. It is magic. Every corner has the cutest pre-Revolutionary homes with their diamond lead glass windows. I found the homes in Providence I remember thinking even back then, special. I visited Federal Hill finally and felt the presence of Guy Alba cutting hair until close to 100 years old. I grew up in a magical place and it's still breath-taking. Rhode Island gives you a sense of discovery. Maybe it's because I didn't actually have an itinerary and my co-pilot was Tootie Pie but I am counting the days until Rhode Island is mine again.

Full, Fuller, Fuller

 

The fish population growth

I feel confident I will get the chandelier up. I vacillate between this optimism, unfounded, and the pits of depression about it. On the plus side, I have 26 of the 42 strands, or 104 of the 168 fish, completed now and thankfully it's starting to look like a collection of fish and not a sad middle school dance with infusible clumps of friends. I am hoping we may get fish shadows once installed. So, a mere 16 strands to go, or just 64 more fish to create! Piece of cake.

As for my mood, I may have inadvertently gone off my meds again. It is too easy in this day and age to fall off the depression radar and not get your pills. Far too simple. And, the best part is, you may or may not be aware of this fact, because of plans not covering certain prescriptions or quantities or other arcane reasons to prevent me from my meds, and using substitute, off-brand names that you're not at all familiar with. Am I taking an old prescription, and my current one is not covered? Well, that's for my depressed ass to get on top of for the umpteenth time. Chasing down meds is a full-time job.

Speaking of full-time jobs, I need one. Another indignity besides the medical system is the job search. Impersonal, sure, it's business, but there should be the beginnings of a relationship and it isn't there any more. We're in a race to the bottom and it scares me. 

Happy fish! Just keep swimming.

Half Complete Fish Shoal and Dining Room Disaster

My fish shoal is 1/3 complete. I made 16 strands of four, out of a total of 42. This creates low fullness on the 6 inch diameter ring I am staging the fish strands on. I am doing this diligently to avoid hanging the chandelier. I have cleaned it. I have the bulbs. I need to ask for help, and I have no problem asking. The problem is no one wants to lend a hand. 

Sixteen strands of 4 fish. Looks sparse
and still tangles.

It's okay. I have been known to weed my friends' driveways and sweep up confetti and other thankless jobs because later, my friends would hold the ladder as I get another plastic bag out of my tree or loosen that screw I can't budge. Whatever. I'll do it alone. It is cemented to the ceiling. Fine. I am trying to remove it and I want to cry, and this will make it that much more glorious when I finally achieve it, I must say so to myself to keep from doing myself in. 

It still tangles. The fish are disappointingly tiny. They hardly sparkle. Many fish are non-symmetrical and will always seem to be swimming in circles. I am not in a great mood.

The old fixture is down - cue religious music. It required the use of a spatula. The new chandelier is HEAVY and I need help putting it up. There it is. That is why it stayed on my floor and became covered in dust. The dream of a new chandelier. I have not been getting what I want lately. I think it's part of the aging process. People flock to you when you're young and beautiful. Become a bit janky around the edges and suddenly, you lose all appeal. It is men and their frustrating lack of ability to see women as people. They did it then and they're doing it now. What can I do but persevere?

I am past the halfway point: 25 strands out of 42 total. They're so small. I liked the overlap that the inspiration fixture had and the basis in art also had. Here they are for reference:

In comparison, my fish are sparse and overfished to the point of colony collapse. I still have the flowers to fall back on. Oh, maybe the layering of the fixture will give the illusion of fullness. I am noticing how narrow the inspiration fixture is compared to mine and the fish in the inspo are about a third of the width. My fish are minnows and not worth catching!

Fish Work - Going For It

A good view of my lighting design. 
There should be 48 fish here, but 
the bubble takes spot #48

I will have a convertible chandelier. It will feature plastic flowers some days and beaded fish others. I am putting off more urgent matters and it doesn't matter. I am making my own world and I only have myself to consult with. 

What a nightmare! Making the fish is easy and fun. Hanging these MFs is a whole 'nother thing. Keeping them from becoming a tangled disaster is proving almost impossible. So here is why we seldom see such things as dangling chandeliers. I've made some 50 of them and strung them onto jump rings and dangled them and they're all in a rat's nest right now. Frustrating.

I know that I write this to no one. No one listens anymore. I pay my therapist to listen and I can see the reflection off her glasses as she surfs the web during our sessions. Tootie Pie, forget it. People's attention spans can shrink all they want, as long as they can greet me in the store and make eye contact at the register. I guess that is too much to ask.

All this talk and no where to direct it. Back to the fish!

I found a cord by Kreinik which is metallic, meaning it holds its shape better than string, but isn't as easily caught like the wire. Fiddling with the fishing line was way tedious. The cord is the solution and it's iridescent! So it's back to making the fish, which is soothing and I'm becoming an expert. The key is to keep the loops from forming kinks, so keep your wire in a U-loop and not a loop-dee-loop. The cord is #12 in Crystalline. I am looking for my blue ball beads to look like bubbles. I think it will be adorable if I ever put up the new fixture and finish the other 200 fish to hang.

Still stringing the next group of 4 
strings of 4 fish, so only 32 pictured
here. I need to not add the strands
as I go because BALANCE

Obviously the fuller version looks better, but the fishes' tails are catching even this sparsely populated. It kind of makes you appreciate how they either don't collide IRL or they are so slimy they simply slide off each other. 

Chandelier/Mobile Creative Direction

Fishy

I suppose I could have a convertible chandelier: that's the beauty of the hook idea! It's about time I put up the kitchen chandelier and I can develop the mobile portion later. I may have found two great creative directions. I don't want to make hundreds of tiny beaded fish only to discover that it doesn't quite look right. So a quick mock-up was in order and I think it may work. The chandelier is just over 20 inches in diameter, and the fishy is 1 inch. There are 6, 14 and 22 concentric sets of rings, or 42 strands. If each ring has 4 fish, that would be 168 fish, and if it has 6 fish, that would be 252 fish. That is doable.

Fishy x252 (but here only 52 of them)

Here is a mock-up of just the outer most row half completed. It already looks like it will appear full. We don't want a constant reminder of overfishing over our kitchen table! This project is on tap for tomorrow. I am putting off the switch because I'm not 100% sure that the electrical box will hold this heavy fixture. But, I know that the six arms will put out much more light than the current 120V inside a plastic coated fabric shade. 

So I must talk myself off the edge, but beads are so sparkly! And by now I've made 6 whole fish. They're mostly blue. I could justify this by saying that I am using up the beads that I have on hand, but ain't no way I have 252 fish worth of beads, who am I kidding? And I have bubble beads, but maybe only 5 or 6. Fun!

Ran out of black flower sequins so 
resorted to some sort of flanged deal
for one fish.

I kind of like the look of the ridged white crystal on the one and only green fish. To supplement my used up supply of eye sequins, I have a bunch of clear ones on order. And I have one more tube of light blue beads before I can justify purchasing more, but that day will come! I heard there are two separate hobbies: beading and collecting beads. They both sound doable!

And becoming a small
school

Now 14 fish start to
cluster

As I work on the fish and work through my bead stash, I am working out how they will be attached. I will most likely attach a jump ring and hang from clear fishing line. Only the hook will be in their backs, not their plump lips. Did you notice their luscious lips?