Men and PTSD. They have it, too. Do they cause most problems? Yes. Are they entitled? Uh-huh. They're also hurting, and it is nearly impossible to empathize, but I am trying.
We send them into war. Be successful but don't flaunt it. They aren't allowed to cry. I think I'd be pissed, too. I have been courting a man, and it is hard! Until this, I'd be the first to judge a man for not having his lines rehearsed or poorly navigating my weird sense of humor - but be careful! One wrong word and you will not hear the end of it!
Setting yourself up for rejection is a hard lifestyle, but trying to impress is all-consuming. If I keep this up, will I eventually become a Proud Boy? It seems like my string of success with men will never end, despite the grey hairs - not just the ones you can see! - and non-symmetrical lines that cannot be classified other than "fold wrinkles". That, or I am telegraphing somehow that I am easy. I am not, but I must be broadcasting otherwise. I could not be trickier.
In any case, I need to come to the conclusion that these men are people. I know this intellectually, but the anecdotal evidence leads me to different ideas. Those loud pompous facades just mask their own insecurity, no matter how repulsive. It is well and good for me to think I'd do it better, and I'm sure I would, but so many men are getting it so wrong, I cannot help but wonder why. I can weave in and out of my imagined position of power, so is it the non-stop incessant nature of it that is making them nuts?
I was mocked for missing the kickball. That's fair, and I was a scrawny girl. And, it had to be comedy gold to witness, very Charlie Brown! But, imagine if I was a boy! The outfield moved up and everyone, including me, expected I'd miff. When I was bullied, it was just fulfilling the prophecy. There was a boy that was the male counterpart of me that had to do an insane amount of pullups to get credibility. I was allowed to remain a weakling. Boys are forced to toughen up. Pressure.
I can flounder, as I am currently, and society doesn't have a problem with me asking for help. Men cannot do this. They have to act. Too much pressure and doing it yourself are a recipe for disaster. I do feel bad for them. Almost. As I write this, my white trash male neighbors are throttling their ATVs around and around my block. In Queens, NYC. The cars that use my 2-block street as a drag strip come about once or twice an hour. I nearly felt compassion and they make a huge spectacle with so much noise and exhaust, windows rattling in the car and in our homes, but who cares? They're enjoying themselves!
Guys want women to come out and say things, and women want men to read their minds and stop acting like fools. Neither is going to happen until we get some perspective. Enjoy the communication gap in the meantime, because sometimes the assholes can be entertaining. But, be careful! Because, they can also be killers.
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