Would You Rather...

How Conditions Requiring Hospitalizations Stack Up

There are clear distinctions between conditions that require hospitalization.  Consumer reports surveyed one woman who experienced three different ailments that led to hospital admission.

Our models: Our childbirth model was a 2007 natural, premature delivery.  Like the other conditions, this was unplanned.  The stroke was a 2009 carotid artery dissection, which was even more unexpected than the other two conditions.  And the cancer was a 2012 cervical stage 1B, with a preventative radical, laparoscopic hysterectomy.

The acquisition of the conditions all start with sex.  In the case of childbirth, the responders remember exactly the onset of the condition; it was at the Jersey Shore, on a warm summer’s day, and we had just steamed up the...in any case, it scored high.  With the stroke, acquiring the precondition was as easy as being born, since it is a genetic condition.  The exact moment cancer was obtained cannot be determined, and any positive feelings that may have resulted in gaining the condition was negated by many angry exchanges between responders and spouses, so it receives a lower score.

The stroke, being a complete surprise, required zero advanced preparations, scoring highest on this criterion.  The cancer was diagnosed three months prior to the surgery, and required a litany of doctors appointments and a charming bowel prep, practiced twice.  The childbirth was diagnosed less than six months before the hospitalization, and involved normal baby and birth preparations, as well as honeymoon and marriage planning.  Marriage planning was complicated by girth of bride and stress of parading down aisle visibly pregnant, so it received the lowest score.

The stroke registered the most negative after-effects of the three conditions.  The joy that the responder’s child brought outweigh the stress and worry of offspring.  Cancer will hopefully just be a small blip on the radar, requiring diligence and attention for the rest of the responder’s life, but not affecting her with any long-term negative effects.  Stroke affects the brain, and since the cause cannot be pinpointed, will stress out our responder for the rest of her life.

The length of hospitalization was longest for the stroke, and unbelievably shortest for cancer, however, the hospital stay was rated as the best for childbirth because the recovery of both mother and baby was quick and comparatively painless than that of cancer.

The mental anguish related to the conditions associated with childbirth were thought to be severe at the time, but the anxiety and stress were more severe for stroke and cancer.  The duration of the pain was less for childbirth was much less than for cancer or stroke, but the intensity was much, much greater.

Update on My Cancer

They are developing a cute tumor and bottle
of Calcium Citrate for the Abominable Prep
musical number scene.

It's the holiday season, so sit by the fire, grab some cocoa, and let's talk about cancer.  It's a great story.  Rankin Bass may decide to animate this classic holiday tale soon, so you can say you heard it here first.



Not radical, dude.

I had my "radical" hysterectomy on Tuesday afternoon into Tuesday evening.  I tell people that natural childbirth is the most extreme of any extreme sport, but radical hysterectomies are not radical in the 80's tubular or gnarly sense.  They just suck.  Better to just keep getting those pap smears, ladies, and if something turns up, hope you can get a LEEP.  I am thankful that this will likely be irradicated for my daughter through vaccinations.   It's truly amazing how the anesthesiologist can just knock you out, and it's unlike sleep.  I guess the closest analogy would be a blackout, where you just lose time.  The time continuum jumps for one person.  It's very strange.  Anyhow, I felt good when I came to around 10 p.m.  My husband was there.  I had no sleep Tuesday night, and Wednesday was a frenzy of activity.  I was very down, since my husband did not make any contact until 11 a.m., but a priest visited me and I met a therapy dog in the hallway.  Man, can animals improve my mood.  The poor thing, a seven-year old black lab, was dressed in a Santa Claus suit, and he had no real joy in his eyes, but selfish me didn't care.  Petting an animal has always been on my top ten list of activities.



Toomey Tumor will be the featured
character in "It's a Cervical Cancer
Christmas, Toomey!"

I am home now.  I can finally catch up on whether DeQuan is the father of adorable eight month old Traynesia (awwww!).  My daughter was with us the first night, which always brightens my mood.  She stayed at her Oma and Opa's house last night, since my husband went back to work today.  I feel good.  The abdominal pain has subsided considerably, and I'm moving more and more like a human.  I slept for almost twelve hours last night.  I am hoping to find out about the lymph nodes on the day after Christmas.  Hopefully, this huge medical drama is behind me.  But, like my other medical incidents, they're never really OVER over, you know?  You're always wary, and ever mindful of the next possible calamity.  I keep thinking, well, I'm getting my health problems out of the way early, that's good.  But is this just the new normal?  I hope this is it now.  May my next hospital visit be to the morgue, in at least three decades.  I feel the need to mention the timeline.  All in all, I could do without the drama. 

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers; it does help.  And, I'd also like to mention Tig Notaro and Marjorie Gross, for making cancer, if not funny, at least ridiculous and eye-rollingly annoying, at just the right time.  Don't buy in bulk.  "I used to use the word “someday,” but now I figure someday is for people with better gene pools."  I will never forget the humor they brought me.  I will let you know the diagnosis on Wednesday.  Happy Holidays!*

EDITOR'S NOTE: I will not find out the results from pathology regarding cancer in the lymph nodes until Friday, January 4th.  Bummer!

Minis for Minis

The exterior

and interior

So, for our Christmas gift miniature dollhouse, we of course needed a dollhouse for the dollhouse.  Little eyes are reading this post, so I need to make it short.  It still needs a staircase, and a bathroom sink, but I think it's looking pretty cool.  Here are the pictures of the minis' mini.  

What Making Minis Has Taught Me

It has been almost a year since I started this blog in earnest.  I made my first dollhouse, and then proceeded to take it apart one accident at a time.  I sold my first miniature.  I registered my business and even have an EIN number.  I have joined a contest and have already made so many friends who share this passion.  My goal for next year is to taper off the teaching posts, since those are usually bitter and jaded, and focus on my miniatures.  I think this is already happening naturally.  Eventually, I like to ditch the teaching career, since I no longer enjoy it.  I am thrilled to have started this adventure, and I cannot wait to see where it takes me next.

So, in the vein of yearly retrospectives, let me look back at some wisdom gained in year one of The Hard Way. 

• If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again.

I still haven't figured out my
tulip table, but I will!

So many little, tiny stitches.

• Your progress may seem infinitessimally small, but many very small steps will lead to great joy and beauty.

• Many small projects very quickly becomes one very large mess.
• Having a hobby you enjoy can give one something to look forward to.
• Your own life may be a horrible mess, but you can control the mini world.

The Before Shots of My Undersized Urbanite Project

My Keystone dollhouse project is hidden until Christmas, so it is difficult for me to photograph surreptiously.  But, since we had company over the weekend, and I needed to put my flooring project away temporarily, I stored it in the dollhouse and stole a couple of pictures.  I also set up my bathroom furniture in the pink upstairs room, and, wouldn't you know it, the ceilings are too low for the corner vanity?  Even if I move the bathroom down the hall, the second floor ceilings will not accomodate the vanity against the back wall, and I cannot place it anywhere else.  So, luckily I have a cool Tomy bathroom set.  Should I modify the vanity by removing the bottom shelf, or go with the Tomy?  We'll see what I come up with there.

This is the lower level, which
will be the kitchen.  The vanity
fits there, but it doesn't go in
the kitchen!  It looks wonky
because I haven't yet fixed
the floor.

The vanity doesn't fit in this
room. Hence, it will be a
 bedroom, but the ceilings
 are equally low throughout
the second floor!



The ground floor has wallpaper fitted for the dining room, and, although not shown yet in the pictures below, it is fabulous.  I am going to use the half wall from the great room upstairs to partition the bathroom, and downstairs I will use my new and improved orange juice cap dividing screen.  The lower heat setting on the iron did the trick.  The ground floor should look great in time for Christmas.  I also have to fix the front door, which has a major chip on one side, and make a successful replacement set of windows.  I did make a mold and casting of the one large window that came with the house, but that leaked out of the mold, and I didn't use mildew remover mold release, so it cracked when removing it from the mold.  Will the second time be the charm?

The floor looks good in its
future home

Success making a geometric
screen




What it Should Have Looked Like, What it Will Look Like, and What Does it Look Like to You?

Well, that didn't turn out the way I thought it would

I was aiming to make a supercool geometric room divider from the plastic pulls that come on orange juice containers.  And it nearly worked.  The superglue and hot glue wasn't working, so I decided to iron it underneath wax paper.  I guess the iron was set too high.  But, the idea has traction.  The next one will be better.  This should have looked better.

Before

After

And, speaking of possibly good ideas, have I made any progress on the floor?  Seriously?  I feel like it's going nowhere.  It will be amazing, it will be amazing.  That is my mantra.

And finally, does anyone have any guesses as to what this will be? I have high hopes.  We'll see if it measures up in any meaningful way.

Dollhouse Herringbone Floor Progress - Not as Bad as I Thought

Okay, so you agree that this is around 10%
finished, right?  I mean, definitely not less
than 10% done.  It's clearly not going
to take as long as I first thought, right?
  It's really not going to be so bad.

This herringbone floor is really not as bad as I thought it would be.  I have around 10% of it finished.  I'm going to attempt to sand it before I complete the whole thing and then learn that it crumbles to pieces when I try to sand it.  So far, here are a few things I've learned:

• I've never really studied a coffee stirrer before, but now that I have, I realize that they have no standard width, depth or length.  They are not retangular in shape, either.  In other words, they suck.  If it wasn't for the fact that they were free, I wouldn't be using them.
• Coffee stirrers are easily cut by scissors, but they are also easily turned into splinters by scissors.
• I should have started on one of the uglier, smaller floors.  I would be done by now, and the wood in the main room is not as hideous as the 1960's bright blue and pink painted floors. 
• I'm going to need an orbital sander.

Just look at this picture again.  I drew some lines
over it now.  It's even more than 10% done, right?
It is so clear now with the lines. It's practically
done.  I'm totally not worried.  I should not be
worried, right?

When my husband asked me "Where is this going?", and I replied, "Where do you think?", I was surprised when he said, the resignation in his tone barely noticeable, "On the wall".  Um, honey, things cut from dowels and painted silver go on the wall.  Things cut from milk cartons go on the wall.  Coffee stirrers painstakingly laid in a zigzag pattern is obviously NOT wall art.  Duh!

Or, could it be?