Two New Accessories

I've addressed the lack of bathroom towels in the bathroom; a bit late, of course, since we've lost a rug from drying off a wet critter.  It is constructed from two earring backs with a cut paper clip bar and a baby face cloth cut to size. 

I've also rebuilt a Nelson ball clock that was made over a year ago from pins, Sculpey clay and paper hands.  All of the balls had "fallen" out, so I reglued them.  It replaces the Sculpey mirror that I constructed that promptly broke.  As always, enjoy them now, for they will probably not last long.

Signs You Might Be Getting Old

Warning!  This post contains sentences that you cannot "unread".  Reader Discretion is Advised.  Louis CK did a stand up routine on being 40, which is spot-on.  Highly recommended viewing.

You may be getting old if:

You use the phrase "Kids today".  A lot.

Living Social or Groupon is targeting you for "Three Laser Toenail-Fungus Treatments" deals. 

You've experienced both a stroke and cancer.  Okay, this one may just apply to me.

You become enraged when commercials make up their own words, like "melty".



Yup, I know what this is...

Check!

You can identify every item labeled "Do you know what this is?" on Facebook.

You start thinking about retirement.  A lot.  Like, obsessively.  That may just be a sign that you need a new job, actually.

The thought of going out at night repulses you.

You start inspecting the things that come out of you more closely.

You really do think that all new music sounds like crap. Except for that Carly Rae Jepsen song. And Trouble by Taylor Swift. Okay, sometimes you have the musical taste of an eleven year old.

These sort of things are
getting funnier and funnier

You are never sure if a fart will turn into a pants crap.

You find Maxine cards and Grampa cartoons funny

The (Cute) Reason My Progress Is Slow

From this, to fixed, to now
no longer lighting up!

I spent the weekend trying to make another Arco lamp to replace the one that I had listed on Etsy, that was sold, that my daughter broke.  I was successful after many, many frustrating hours, and I figured I could salvage the one that she had broken for our dollhouse, which I did.  All was good.  Until two seconds into her playing with the newly fixed Arco, when it was broken again.

This would be great to put into a little book. 
I wish I had one...

Then, I found pages for the Charlotte's Web mini book that I made, resized them, print, cut out and sprayed with clear lacquer, to then discover that Tootie Pie lost all three books.  We retraced her steps from when she last saw them, and I grilled her mercilessly, but they were never produced.  Some day I will find them in with her hairbands, in her sticker collection, in the miniature tub bathing with a Critter, or some other unlikely spot.  My God!  How does she manage?  Who's idea was it to have kids when I'm obviously trying to keep a dollhouse?  I mean, c'mon!

So, another case of one thing created, another thing broken.  Grrr....  So, if you're ever wondering why I cannot produce things more rapidly - why, for instance, it has taken me almost three months to make one chair - consider that a miniaturist is handicapped with a curious child.  It reminds me of a comedian's act by Chad Daniel's “Babies are miracles. Think about it. When they’re born their feet are tiny. Yet, they can somehow step on all your hopes and dreams.”  In fact, Tootie Pie is literally crushing my dream here.  Or, at least, she certainly isn't making it any easier.

The chair (right) and its base (bottom left),
plus a very small Polly Pocket chair that I
modified by painting the base silver

The one success I did have this weekend, besides recreating a lamp unneccessarily, was on my Egg chair.  I have now fashioned the base of the chair from a plastic lollipop stick and a large paper clip.  All that remains is attaching it to the chair, and then waiting for Tootie Pie to either break it or lose it. 

FINALLY Figured Out Egg Chair Upholstery

Wearing a new coat FINALLY

Remember me?

I am sure that everyone is wondering, how's that Arne Jacobsen Egg Chair coming along?  The one that was teased back almost three months ago?  The one that is number three the Undersized Urbanite To-Do List on the right margin?  Anyone?  Well, whether or not you've been wondering, I'm going to tell you what happened.  It has been driving me nuts!  I have struggled trying to upholster it.  The super stylish chair is curved, hence its appeal, and fabric just won't curve.  I have new-found respect for these designers as they had to overcome issues I would never have foreseen.  How they cover these rounded chairs without having to pintuck the fabric thirty thirteen bajillion times is beyond me.  I tried a piece of felt, because felt stretches more than regular fabric; nuh-uh.  I didn't even have to worry about seams because the fabric would stretch over the flatter surfaces and bunch together in the more rounded parts.  It didn't look good and this project was going nowhere.  Until, one day in A.C. Moore, I found a small package of wool roving.  I had taken a felting class at Socrates Sculpture Park in Astoria, Queens, around two years ago, and all sorts of cool projects were envisioned, but not (yet) realized.  I also took a class in raising chickens at the same park, fell in love with Bantam chickens, and even researched chicken diapers, which is another (yet) unrealized dream, but that is another story.  So, back to the roving, it occured to me that the this would be the best solution, creating a seamless covering, and in stylish wool to boot!

My second choice was
the darker blue

Light blue didn't work
 out - too stringy?

The roving came packaged in two-color packs and they were all so lovely I had a hard time choosing, but in the end I went with Pastel Blue/Blueberry.  I tried the lighter blue first, and it all came apart when I placed it into the boiling water.  I think the wool was too "stringy" because I didn't pull it apart enough before covering the chair.  So, the darker wool was up next, and this time I broke up smaller pieces and I ladled the water onto the piece so that the roving wouldn't fall off in the pot.  Then, I relived the Socrates Park sensual fun stroking the warm, wet wool in the soapy water, and voilà.  I may have finally done it.  It's too thick in some places, overly thin in others, but compared with my fourteen other attempts at upholstering this bad boy, it is by far the best looking.  Now, on to the next challenge: the base, and I can turn another to-do into a ta-da.  Little by little, I'm figuring things out.



Stop Being Brutes



Who could hold up to this scrutiny?  Says Mantel,
"It may be that the whole phenomenon of monarchy
is irrational, but that doesn’t mean... we should
behave like spectators at Bedlam. Cheerful curiosity can
easily become cruelty... We don’t cut off the
 heads of royal ladies these days, but we do
sacrifice them, and we did memorably drive one to
destruction a scant generation ago..."

There was an uproar in the United Kingdom recently over the comments of Hilary Mantel, apparently a well-known English author, describing Dutchess Kate as "devoid of personality" and "without the risk of the emergence of character."  In fact, I'm sure the lovely Kate does indeed have a personality, but, in today's culture, as a public figure, it's always best to not show it.  And then, of course, she is criticized for not having a personality.  So, she can't win.

There was a time when journalists withheld information regarding public figure's personal lives.  Martin Luther King, whom I hold up as an example to my daughter when teaching her that the right and moral path is always more difficult than the easy, amoral path, had extramarital affairs, and the press was made aware of this fact.  Apparently J. Edgar Hoover taped these encounters and leaked the story to reporters, and Mrs. King!  But, this revelation was not made public until 1989 in an autobiography of one of MLK's associates.  In any case, I think the journalists of the day exercised restraint, and rightly focused on more news-worthy stories than the sex life of a hero.

Today, we would surely not only know about this personal indiscretion, we'd probably be able to watch the video tapes, and his mistresses would have their own reality television shows and designer handbag lines.  Just ask David Petraeus if the media shows as much compunction about airing private matters as they once did.  Just because people respond to such stories and the news outlet gets "buzz" doesn't mean that the public has the right to know.  Sex sells, we get it.  So do guns, alcohol, violence, drugs, cigarettes and the gross.  That doesn't mean that everyone's job is to satiate these lowly instincts.

I see every day the results of this crass, hateful influence.  My students are engorged with the basest forms of behavior possible at their age.  It is truly shocking how skewed their priorities are and how sad it is to realize that they aren't allowed innocence.  They swear, they show no respect to elders, their peers, authority, or themselves.  They don't value education, character, their surroundings or themselves.  Where is innocence these days? 

I am trying to raise a daughter in this environment.  It will be hard for her to navigate this small-minded world.  It is always easier to fight injustice with guns than with kindness.  It will always be more fun to play violent video games than to study.   It will be difficult for her to not feel the pressure to sext, hard for her to trust that, although she will be judged by others by her appearance, it does not matter what those haters say.  I find myself hoping that she is an outcast, since most of her peers will have fallen prey to corrupt influences.  I hope she will find like-minded friends with a future.

Which takes me back to Hilary Mantel.  In the end, I think she is mostly correct in her take of the princess.  It isn't an indictment of her, it takes aim at the press and the public, and how curiosity can easily become cruelty.  She knows the history of the royals, and I think she understands that they once put forth a pre-rehearsed facade, leading Britons by example, but now their entire lives are fair game for scrutiny.  "I'm not asking for censorship.", she says, "I'm not asking for pious humbug or smarmy reverence. I am asking us to back off and not be brutes."

This Week's Project: Save the Tooth

It turns out that it's lucky I finished my "scene" two days early, because I had an action-packed Valentine's Day!  It was full of red, I spent it with my beloved Tootie Pie and it had a surprise.  And, it was the worst Valentine's Day I've experienced.  The red was blood, and the surprise was that Tootie Pie knocked out her two front teeth, one of which was her permanent tooth that hadn't even come completely down.  I was absolutely naseous at the news.  We went to the emergency clinic, and were told we needed a pediatric dentist, so back in the car, only to wait for him to come back from lunch.  Then, he too, told us we'd need even more of a specialist: an oral surgeon, who of course was not in, but would be after a short wait.  Tootie Pie was anesthesized and had two more teeth removed in order to affix braces to save her secondary tooth.  Poor girl! 

And poor Mom.  Phone calls were flying back and forth between my Assistant Principals, my union rep (our dental plan is provided by our union), the Welfare Fund (that's the name of our union-provided benefits - we're not on welfare!), her primary care physician, the pharmacy, husband, in-laws, parents, sister, teacher, school nurse, and some random guy who thought he was calling a doctor and refused to take my word for it that I am NOT a doctor.  "But, this is the number they gave me".  Dude!  I don't have the patience for this today!!!  Stop calling me!  ARGHHH!

There are full, pillowy lips, and
there is THIS, which is a bit
extreme.

Tootie Pie is slowly returning to her normal self.  My second school break vacation plans are destroyed, but I am thankful that she was not more seriously injured.  In the midst of all of this, I made another sale. I have doubled my sales!   So, things could be worse.  Hopefully they won't become so, though.

** EDITOR'S NOTE: There is a silver lining to the losing of the tooth:  she now has ungnawed fingernails.  You can't bite your nails if you don't have teeth!

Valentine's Day Scene, or Spring Break

How thoughtful!  How romantic!

Oh, my, and wine!  Nice!

Since they're underaged, they can't
handle their alcohol

But, young people + booze = heavy
petting

Here is my February holiday scene for Mini Aesthetics's contest.  This was thrown together extremely randomly and without much forethought.  Tootie Pie was helping, so she added a shopping basket full of fruit, a campfire, and a old fashioned desk, which had to be surreptiously taken out for the photos to be taken. 

 

This sequence shows a young couple, and I do mean young, on a date.  It may be an open air room in a Carribean locale, since out the clerestory window there are jumping dolphins.  In the first picture, our young man is showering the young woman with flowers, candy on a platter and a teddy bear.  In the second photo, the gentleman is pouring her some wine.  And in the third, she has abandoned the glass and is chugging her second bottle, having trashed the first on the floor.  The young man is either showing off doing pushups, or he tripped on the rug.  The candy is on the arm of the chair, within easy reach.  The cat has knocked over the vase.  And, in the final in the series, well, it's dark, but it seems that things have spiraled completely out of control.

 

So, that's my romantic Valentine's Day scene.  Pretty amateurish, but it is my first one.  They can only get better from here.  At least, I hope.